Our Favorite Pieces of Internet: Jeff Rosie’s Choice

Sure this is a little sentimental, but I don’t care, I like it. Plus it’ll totally help me roundup more InterWeb tweens who like sappy stuff. Check out my Twitter page that I never update here kidz!

Not-So-Fun Fact: In second grade, during an indoor recess brought on by rain, I was playing tag with my shoelaces untied (a short-lived fad in my elementary school), when one of my unnamed “friends” [cough] Sam Haller [cough] stepped on my shoe-laces while chasing me in a heated game of tag. I chipped my front tooth pretty badly, and since then my other front tooth has suffered nerve damage and died. Thanks, Sam!

P.S. Veneers cost $3,000 pal!

8 More Creative Ways To Shame Your Sleeping Friend

The Photo Shoot

Put one of the victim’s hands in their pants. In their other hand, place any publication that isn’t usually considered porn. (Hint: any obscure hobby or children’s magazine should yield hilarious results.)

Generation Shame
Call the victim’s parents and share their most incriminating stories. If you’re really trying to make someone feel ashamed, this is the most direct route possible. No point beating around the bush.

The Gotye
Take off their clothes and paint their body so they blend in seamlessly with the background. Now they’re just somebody that you used to be awake with.

Fly on the Wall
Tape them to the wall inside a duct tape “cocoon.” Make sure to leave air holes. Unless you really don’t like the person.

Whodunit
Put a bloodied dog collar and a ski mask in their pockets. When they wake up, tell them tearfully that a drunk maniac in a mask killed your puppy last night. See how long it takes them to confess.

The Urkel
Set up a bunch of fake Twitter accounts and bombard the victim with furious complaints about their offensiveness and insensitivity. When they wake up they’ll be forced to wonder, “What did I do?” Keep reading